Nine months is plenty. Here's the plan.

Set the vision together

Before spreadsheets, spend an evening picking three words for the wedding you want — intimate, garden, loud, elegant, whatever fits. Every later decision gets easier when you can hold it up against those words.

Set your total budget and who contributes

Decide the number you're comfortable spending, and have the awkward-lovely conversations with anyone contributing. A written total now prevents a hundred small arguments later.

Draft a guest count range

You don't need names yet — just a low and a high number. Almost every other decision (venue size, catering cost, invitation quantity) hangs off this range.

Choose a date or date window

Pick a season and a few candidate weekends. Holding a range instead of one date keeps venue options open when you start touring.

Consider what an intimate wedding could look like

40 guests can happen in a restaurant back room, a friend's garden, or a national park with a permit. Fewer people means more time with each one.

Shortlist five venues

Filter by capacity, price, and season first — then aesthetics. Ask each one about rain plans and noise curfews before you fall in love with a garden.

Tour your top venues

Visit in person if you can, on the same day of week and time as your ceremony. Light, sound, and parking are all different at 5pm Saturday than at 11am Tuesday.

Book the venue

Read every line about deposits, cancellation, vendor restrictions, and overtime fees before signing. This is the biggest single decision — take a beat with the contract.

Shortlist caterers

Ask for a quote based on your actual guest range, including staff, rentals, and service charge. The 'per plate' number always grows once those are added.

Book the caterer

Confirm the menu-tasting date now and lock any dietary flexibility (vegan, kids, allergies) into the contract. A good caterer welcomes the questions.

Plan the bar

Beer + wine + one signature cocktail is a lovely, calm way to serve most weddings. Decide who supplies alcohol (you or the caterer) — it changes the budget a lot.

Start attire research

Try a few silhouettes on before you fall for one online. Bring a friend who tells the truth kindly.

Order wedding attire

Most dresses and suits need 4–6 months plus alterations. Ordering now leaves room for a peaceful fitting schedule instead of a rush charge.

Send save-the-dates

Any guest traveling or taking time off needs 6–8 months' notice. A paper card is beautiful; a good email works just as well.

Book the florist

Share your inspiration file, budget number, and season. A good florist will tell you what's actually blooming and gorgeous when — trust them.

Reserve a hotel block for guests

One or two hotels near the venue, at a group rate. Guests love not having to comparison-shop.

Book the ceremony and reception music

DJ, band, or a great playlist — decide, then book. Ask any live musicians to send video of a real event, not a studio reel.

Open your registries

Two is plenty — one home store, one flexible cash-fund option. Nothing gets bought until save-the-dates land, so you have time to refine.

Choose the cake or dessert

Tastings are one of the few pure joys of planning — schedule two or three. Cupcakes, pies, and doughnut walls all count; nothing is required.

Plan transportation

Getting yourselves and guests between ceremony, reception, and hotels. A single shuttle loop often solves everything.

Order invitations

Proof every line twice — dates, times, addresses, RSVP deadline. Order a few extras for keepsakes and forgotten cousins.

Do the menu tasting

Bring notes and a partner opinion — you'll forget which sauce was which by tomorrow. Confirm any last swaps in writing.

Plan the rehearsal dinner

Traditionally the night before, for wedding party and out-of-town family. A private room at a good restaurant is more than enough.

Book the honeymoon

Even if it's a long weekend two weeks after — book something. You will need a soft landing.