Twelve weeks. One wedding. Here's how.

Set the vision together

Before spreadsheets, spend an evening picking three words for the wedding you want — intimate, garden, loud, elegant, whatever fits. Every later decision gets easier when you can hold it up against those words.

Set your total budget and who contributes

Decide the number you're comfortable spending, and have the awkward-lovely conversations with anyone contributing. A written total now prevents a hundred small arguments later.

Draft a guest count range

You don't need names yet — just a low and a high number. Almost every other decision (venue size, catering cost, invitation quantity) hangs off this range.

Choose a date or date window

Pick a season and a few candidate weekends. Holding a range instead of one date keeps venue options open when you start touring.

Shortlist caterers

Ask for a quote based on your actual guest range, including staff, rentals, and service charge. The 'per plate' number always grows once those are added.

Book the caterer

Confirm the menu-tasting date now and lock any dietary flexibility (vegan, kids, allergies) into the contract. A good caterer welcomes the questions.

Plan the bar

Beer + wine + one signature cocktail is a lovely, calm way to serve most weddings. Decide who supplies alcohol (you or the caterer) — it changes the budget a lot.

Start attire research

Try a few silhouettes on before you fall for one online. Bring a friend who tells the truth kindly.

Order invitations

Proof every line twice — dates, times, addresses, RSVP deadline. Order a few extras for keepsakes and forgotten cousins.

Do the menu tasting

Bring notes and a partner opinion — you'll forget which sauce was which by tomorrow. Confirm any last swaps in writing.

Plan the rehearsal dinner

Traditionally the night before, for wedding party and out-of-town family. A private room at a good restaurant is more than enough.

Book the honeymoon

Even if it's a long weekend two weeks after — book something. You will need a soft landing.

Send final headcount to caterer and venue

This number is usually locked 7–10 days out. Add a small buffer for last-minute yeses if your contract allows.

Finalize the seating chart

Print two copies for the venue and one for the coordinator. Any last-minute swaps happen on printed sticky notes, not in the head.

Break in your shoes

Wear them around the house for a couple hours a day, with socks. Blister prevention starts now, not in the ceremony line.

Finish and print your vows

Print two copies each, in a large readable font. One for you, one held by your best person as backup.

Send thank-you notes

Handwritten, within about three months. A sentence about the specific gift is all it takes to make the note feel personal.

Start the name-change paperwork (if changing)

Social Security first, then license, then passport, then bank and everything else. Keep a certified marriage certificate copy for each stop.

Preserve or resell your attire

Cleaning services can preserve a gown or suit within a few weeks. Or resell — many couples love giving their dress a second wedding.

Review your photos and pick prints

Print at least one large one for the wall — the phone album isn't the same. A photobook lives forever.